I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i now understand why vodka
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
