college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
