well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
