better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
