i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
