is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
