How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
