you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
