i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dicks are not precious.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
