what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize