At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
