that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
