Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
