i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
we should paint friendship bongs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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