Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
