Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
