Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
