How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
