I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
