I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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