I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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