You really coming over, don't trick.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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