You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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