I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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