what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
