I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
