I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
