haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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