You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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