You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
