Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
