I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
