nut hugger
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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