What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
