I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
