I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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