she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
