Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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