I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
