I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
