Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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