people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
did i walk over a car last night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
