Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
