you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nobody cheats on THIS.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
