Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
