he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
