I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
