remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
