Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
