doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
